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Motörhead : "Clean Your Clock", CD+Bluray, [2016] [Movie Review]

Motörhead : "Clean Your Clock" [CD + Blu-Ray)

I swore, I wouldn't buy, hear or see this particular release. It is a pathetic release that scumbag record executives made to cash in on our Dr. Rock. I have always had this saying though, if you don't hear and/or see it, then you are not able to express qualified hate towards it. So I drank a bunch of beers to strengthen up and banged my head into it.

To make a few things clear. I saw Motörhead the first time in 1987 and I've been a fan ever since. I felt just as sad when Lemmy died, as I did when my own father died. I loved Lemmy beyond life. I was stunned for several days. Lemmy couldn't die. Still, this is a 100% honest review of the bluray video / cd of one of his last shows with Motörhead. 2 days in München that should never have ended up on an official release.

They played in front of a huge crowd in Germany. They brought the legendary Bomber rig with them on this European tour. Also this must be the worst venue I have ever seen. It is quite narrow, but incredibly long or deep. Unless you were in the front 10%, I bet you couldn't see (hear) shit?

Lemmy looked like death itself. He couldn't even keep the tempo in "Metropolis", not exactly the fastest Motörhead song. Phil and Mikkey needed to slow down a lot and so they did of course. They've perfected their show around the one true Motörhead. There are however no longer any of the usual jokes, none of the usual comedy shit, no dance steps with Phil, only song titles read from the setlist and then spoken out. Phil does almost all of the small talk at these show.

The single new song from "Bad Magic"[2015] that made it to the setlist, "When the sky comes looking for you", has a totally shitty vocal and the tempo is way too fast for Lemmy. Phil fills in as the true bandleader he became, Lemmy still struggles behind. It's actually a brilliant song, but it is a pain to listen to here. This should never have happened. And certainly never have been released.

"Lost Woman Blues", worked really well. It's a slow tune and everything is quite perfect. The "Aftershock"[2013] album didn't sound too good, so it's easy to improve on, and so they did.

They did "Rock It", but Lemmy couldn't quite do it. No voice. No speed. But instrumentally, it's not bad. Great bass there.

"Orgasmatron", there's no voice. He is merely speaking the many clever words of the song. There is however no feeling behind it. Lemmy makes it through, but compared to earlier days, it is sad to witness. There's no fun and no games. It all falls mighty flat. He never failed musically. The bass-guitar was there all the time, and Phil grew with his role. He backed up as much as he possibly could with guitar and voice. But this "Orgasmatron" was without vocal, timing, tempo, feeling, humor. It was all gone. It was mostly about surviving and trying not to die on stage.

"Dr. Rock" was dedicated to Philthy Animal Taylor, who died the week before. The song was drifting around. It never found any safe harbor. It never found any direction. It did not rock. Too slow. Too fucked up, too flaky vocally.

Mikkey Dee is certainly not a bad drummer, but his drum solo was way too insanely extended, only to give Lemmy time to get his old body moving again. Phil's guitar solo was as misplaced as ever at a Motörhead gig. After the break, I think the 2 other dudes were seriously worried if Lemmy would come out again. He did.

"Just 'cos You Got The Power" is a mighty strong song. It is slow enough to make sense here, Phil plays an über-worldly guitar. Unfortunately Lemmy's vocal is weak as hell. The man was clearly not okay, as we would learn much too soon after this.

Lemmy barely got thru "Ace of Spades". But then again, he did. "Whorehouse Blues" acoustic and Phil was awesome. Mikkey perhaps even more. Mikkey was tight on the guitar + the drum. What the hell is going on? Lemmy still holds his ground. With much feeling too. And harmonica. Slow perhaps, but certainly satisfying.

"We are here tomorrow night too". If this video holds the best recordings from the 2 nights in München, it would make me cry to watch the ones that didn't make the cut. "Overkill", has the worst vocal on any Motörhead recording ever. You can't hear every other word, Lemmy's got no air left "oårraghkyl" "oårraghkyl" "oårraghkyll". Sad. So sad to watch this. Lemmy is so skinny now, that he fits his old clothes from the 70s and 80s. The sound from Lemmy's bass is excellent and perfect, and the Bomber plane above, makes you cry with joy. Too pretty for cunts like us.

This release reminds me of seeing Black Sabbath at the Copenhell Festival 2016. Ozzy has been touring for much too long as well. He cannot sing any longer. He can't hit a note for the death of his fans. So I guess Lemmy wasn't the only one, who didn't know when to quit. That doesn't make this release any less sad though. I somehow wish I'd never seen it, and I'm certainly glad I didn't experience this live. It would have hurt too much.

Love Lemmy. Love Motörhead. Fuck this release.

Rating: 2

Band: Motörhead

Movie Title: Clean Your Clock

This Release: 2016

Movie Genre: Concert

Movie Format: CD+Bluray

Movie Label: UDR

Content Type: Movie Review

Language: EN

Updated: 2016-07-15 20:12

Created: 2016-07-15 20:05

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