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KP says: Life [2017]   Rating: Rating: 1/6   
Updated: 2017-03-25 17:36:05    Type:  movie review     English  View Comment Details   
I had a perhaps naive hope that this movie would be a lot like Alien. Well, it kinda isn't. The crew on the International Space Station retrieves a Mars probe. An alien life form is found. The alien is not a fan of other life forms. Everything goes Fubar. The end. Not the most creative story writing perhaps, but it could have been enough.

The Alien squid thingy is kinda cool, but not exactly xenomorph kinda scary. I don't know who is to blame for everything that is wrong with this movie, but it seems like it was written by a bunch of politically correct Swedish gender-neutral pussies, because all the scientists are acting like little girls with all their big feelings and lack of any logic. Half of them speak with a thick accent that would even impress Icelandic singer Björk. I ended up hating all of them with a vengeance, and couldn't wait for the thingy to strangle them all, one by one.

Actually I would have preferred if the thingy had been a lot quicker and more determined, because the soundtrack was truly horrible. Insanely annoying loud noises for extended periods of time. I looked at my watch several times, and even considered walking out at one point. I never got that far, but I guess I shouldn't have bothered going in the first place.

And now the wait begins for a real Alien movie. There is simply no way Ridley Scott and H. R. Giger's xenomorphs will fuck up this badly with "Alien: Covenant".

Director: Daniel Espinosa
Runtime: 1h43
Life [2017] (movie review)
Movie reviews:
Blade Runner - The Final Cut  ♦  Prometheus [2D]  ♦  The Martian (3D) [2015]  ♦  Alien: Covenant [2017]