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KP says: Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2D) [2019]    Rating: Rating: 3/6   
Updated: 2019-12-23 15:27:12    Type:  movie review     English  View Comment Details   
I had kinda decided not to watch this last episode of the new Disney trilogy after the horrible 8th episode. "The Last Jedi" [2017] sucked Ewok balls. I could feel the hate flow thru me though, so I needed to know in details what pile of shit Disney had come up with this time.

On the positive side, they have toned down the SJW bullshit that made Rian Johnson's crap movie almost unwatchable. In fact they are almost pretending like that movie never even happened, making it a rather crappy trilogy. The first movie was basically copy/paste from Episode IV, and the second move was a pile of crap. It's hard to wrap up a trilogy based upon that.

We do get a bit of story telling this time, and even though it is too easy bringing back Emperor Palpatine [Ian McDiarmid] from the dead, it was necessary. The new villains have all been ridiculously lame. Snoke was a total nobody and Kylo Ren [Adam Driver] is a little emo bitch.

I can accept Rey [Daisy Ridley] as the heroine, and Poe [Oscar Isaac] is not bad either, but I can't stand fucking Finn [John Boyega]. I had hoped Palpatine would have beaten him to death with a baseball bat in the first scene, but I knew I shouldn't be that lucky. Thank the Sith, they have at least almost dropped pointless Rose.

The effects and style is much the same as J.J. Abrams used in "The Force Awakens" [2015], a bit dirty and dusty and blurred. I'm not sure I'm a fan of it, but it doesn't look bad. It does however make the space battles look less impressive compared to some of the other movies where everything looked sharp and shiny.

What absolutely pissed me off was the constant fights and interaction with characters that were physically elsewhere. It was overused to a degree were it became super annoying and ridiculous. The ending was an attempt at something super sentimental. That's however a bit difficult to achieve, when it's hard to give a single fuck about most of the characters.

The good news is that Episode IX doesn't suck completely. It's not great, but it's not terrible. The bad news is that the entire new trilogy has been totally pointless. If you actually choose to accept it as a Star Wars trilogy, then it also makes the old movies and Anakin Skywalker's story rather pointless.

As a big fan of George Lucas's original movies and the prequels too, I'll just pretend that these Disney sequels never happened. For me the saga ended with Episode 6. Disney hasn't offered anything new that we couldn't have lived happily without. Fuck Disney and the mouse they rode in on.


Director: J.J. Abrams
Runtime: 2h21


Here's my personal Star Wars Episodes ranking - best to worst:
  1. Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
  2. Episode IV: A New Hope
  3. Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
  4. Episode I: The Phantom Menace
  5. Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
  6. Episode II: Attack of the Clones
  7. Episode VII: The Force Awakens
  8. Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker
  9. Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

 
 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2D) [2019]  (movie review)
 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2D) [2019]  (movie review)
 
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KP's Top 20 of Action Movies  ♦  Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army  ♦  Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2D) [2015]  ♦  Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (3D) [2016]  ♦  "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" (3D) [2017]  ♦  Murder on the Orient Express [2017] (70 mm)  ♦  Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2D) [2017]  ♦  Overlord [2018]  ♦  My list of the best sci-fi movies from the last 10 years