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KP says: Murder on the Orient Express [2017] (70 mm)   Rating: Rating: 3/6   
Updated: 2017-12-08 21:21:19    Type:  movie review     English  View Comment Details   
I can't remember the original(s), I don't like Agatha Christie, I think the Hercule Poirot character is a twat, and I only saw this movie because a friend of mine pointed a gun at me and said I had to.

The movie has lots of well-known actors (including new Star Wars girl - Daisy Ridley, Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer and lots more), none of them sucked, none of them did anything memorable either. The movie has some nice photography and some very interesting use of the camera from weird angles. The subtitles in annoying yellow wasn't a big hit though.

I can't review it, because I find this super-detective genre both ridiculous and unbelievable. It's a bit like Judge Dredd on a mission in Mega City One, but Judge Dreed is believable and badass and cool, Hercule Poirot is just a Belgian wanker with a stupid beard.

I'll give it a rating of 3/6, because it didn't suck that much and I didn't fall asleep.


Director: Kenneth Branagh
Runtime: 1h54
 
Murder on the Orient Express [2017] (70 mm) (movie review)
 
Cd/vinyl reviews:
Marilyn Manson - Born Villain  ♦  Hollywood Vampires
 
Concert reviews:
Hollywood Vampires - Tivoli, Copenhagen, 2018-06-08
 
Movie reviews:
KP's Top 5 of Gangster Movies  ♦  KP's Top 10 of Movies "that didn't really fit in on any of my other Top x lists"  ♦  Sweeney Todd  ♦  Alice In Wonderland (3D) [2010]   ♦  Dark Shadows [2012]  ♦  Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2D) [2015]  ♦  Alice Through the Looking Glass (3D) [2016]  ♦   Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2D) [2019]