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KP says: 2 shitty movies with Natalie Portman (to be avoided at all costs)        
Updated: 2012-04-07 23:22:43    Type:  movie review     English  View Comment Details   
2 shitty movies with Natalie Portman (to be avoided at all costs) (movie review)
I actually happen to love Natalie Portman as an actress and I've found her both very pretty and talented since she first entered the scene as Princess Amidala. Why must every movie she stars in suck when she always does a fine job regardless of how shitty the rest of the movie is? It must be a conspiracy. I've very recently had the unfortunate experience of watching two very shitty movies that she happened to star in. So, here we go! (better luck next time, Natalie)

Black Swan (2010):
I have absolutely no idea (Portman I guess), why I tortured myself watching this one, since I knew I would hate it. It has that feeling of those awful French art flicks, I can't really grasp the meaning of ballet, and I usually detest psychological movies. And sure enough, I really didn't like the movie. Natalie did a very fine job though, it was only just about everything else that sucked badly. I believe I had expected some kind of ballet version of "Show Girls"(1995), but the latter is a much more fun and action packed movie to watch, and the sex scenes are better, much more explicit and there are more of them. Sorry arty pants and movie reviewers, but you were wrong. Psychological ballet is not the new black.

Thor (2011):
It must have been some very lousy comics to begin with - if you can cook up a movie as shitty as this - based upon them. How the hell can you succeed in creating something this bad, piss all over Nordic mythology in a tasteless American way, create an Asgård loction that looks awful in multiple ways and mess the rest up with uninspired acting and mediocre special effects? Well, I must admit, it does take a special talent to create something as bad as this. The only positive things to say about it is Natalie Portman and the end credits song "Walk" by Foo Fighters. Everything else should have been smashed to pieces with Thor's hammer Mjølner. No, not held by the metro sexual American Thor, but by the real Nordic God of Thunder.
 
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