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KP says: Hellraiser 1-2-3 (revisited in 2011)   Rating: Rating: 4/6   
Updated: 2011-04-16 00:06:17    Type:  movie review     English  View Comment Details   
#1:
Simple story and filmed mostly on a single location. Seen from today's p.o.v. it's technically rather crappy, but this movie is the first of it's kind, so it gets a lot of stars for that. It kind of invented the shit. Yup!

The spawning of Frank back from Hell still is a good test for demon builders. Very convincing indeed. Not so much CGI back then, me thinks.

Pinhead and his friends (I love the "teeth dude") are FUCKING AWESOME. A single movie and you think you are legends??? This one...YES.

Kirsty / Ashley Laurence : yes she is VERY nice for an 80s girl. Very nice indeed.

Jesus wept! (say no more, coolest comment ever)

#2:
Way too many repeats from the first movie (even if some of them from different angles.) The Asylum was awesome. It got stuck in my mind since the 80s and after this revisit I know why. It is a bloody not-so-likeable but-awesome-indeed place they've created. Especially the "maintenance" area. (I still wonder what is in area: -3)

They had a lot of ideas, but not enough money. You see lightning outside the hospital and it looks like shite from a flashlite, while at the same time they try to rip off people's skin or illuminating Hell itself (which looks an awful lot like painted cardboard boxes to me.) Call me KP, but they shoulda slowed down and looked at the budget... Sometimes less is better.

They pull off a few cool tricks though (for the time) and both Ashley and Imogen(Tiffany) do a good job.

I think they take a bit of a piss on the first movie. Julia transforms way too fast from juice and bones to full body. In fact she jumps right out of her matress. (see AVP1 compared to Alien 1 to understand what I mean. They skip the process to get to the action by speeding it all up.) Not so good, me thinks.

My copy was in 4:3 format and the translation from English to Danish was so bad that I turned off the subtitles after 3 minutes. Example: "Jesus wept" (repeat from #1) translated to "Kors i Edderkoppen". I rest my case. That's what you get for trusting other people to listen for you.

Go on... but trick us again child, and your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!

#3:
The playboy dude looks like the singer from Alphaville... a little wuss in other words. Pinhead doesn't look like the first Pinhead from 1 and 2 (new makeup artist in town?)

The 2 girls were hot together. As an instructor I would have used that a lot more. You can never have too many girl on girl scenes smashed into a pretty bad sequel of a movie.

Ooh god or heaven and even hell maybe even Lucifer's horse or goat: the war scenes. They look like some shit out of a poor cow's ass. Not a very rich cow anyway. If you want to do that kinda stuff, do it right, or not at all. In this case: NOT AT ALL.

Can we just skip the embarassing lines and the unbeliveable shit? Thanks. You don't sell out your new only friend like that for some well-known cock. Not even if you are a stupid slut. Jesus.

Several things wrong with the behaviour of the cube and the hell dudes themselves. The director probably hasn't seen or understood Hellraiser 1.

High-light should have been the bar scene with them all being ripped apart, but it wasn't. It was kinda Boring. And Motörhead doesn't enter before the fucking end credits. Fuck that.

Problem with the actors and hookers in #3 ? Well...fuck 'em. Like the rest of the shit...
 
Hellraiser 1-2-3 (revisited in 2011) (movie review)
Hellraiser 1-2-3 (revisited in 2011) (movie review)
 
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